So, Nano was a bust. Since I’ve “won” before, and will undoubtedly “win” again, I’m not too bothered by it. Truly, my heart wasn’t in it.
Part of the problem was that I got bored with what I was writing, and it took me a while to figure out why – I had a concept but no hook. Without a hook, there really was no point.
Another reason my heart wasn’t in it feeds into the first, and that is I was (am?) still grieving my mother’s passing. By November she hadn’t been gone three months. In my mind I’m wondering why I can’t get my shit together. I’m a tough cookie – right? I’m a grown-up – right? So what’s the problem?
A wise woman reminded me that parental relationships are significant – maybe more or less depending on circumstances – but for me, pretty significant. Expecting that my grief was over with the funeral was a tad misguided on my part. Expecting myself to jump back into super productivity and beating myself up because I was failing was unfair. Grief has a life and it runs it’s course. Funny that once I acknowledged that, things started slotting into place.
I began to exercise again – and didn’t that do wonders for my creativity! Out of the blue came the hook for my Nano story – should I go back to it. Along with that came the opening scene of the next novel in the Coming Darkness series. My head is clearer, and I have perspective. Do I like exercising? Nope, probably never will. But my creative life needs it, therefore I need it. It could be worse.
I leave you with a deliciously twisted horror movie called The Ritual (on Hulu). It will feel typical, and I encourage you to hang in there until the end – the twist is worth it.