I hadn’t planned on participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I participated and finished last year and figured I was done with nano for awhile. That lasted until yesterday. As of this writing, it feels like a 50/50 split of wanting vs. not wanting to participate.

The first thing in the Don’t Want column is the question of what the hell I’m going to write about. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised that when I really thought about it, it took all of fifteen minutes for me to figure that out. Whether it’s 50 thousand words of an idea remains to be seen.  Also weighing on this side is the amount of pressure & stress involved. I hate that part. I hate the negotiations with myself to make the word count when I have a “bad” day. For me, stuff needs to percolate (ferment?). There is no room for that when the point is quantity. Then there’s Thanksgiving. If things get tough, that’s 2 days of travel/visiting (and no writing) that gets carved out of 30. Stress!

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Weighing in on the Want side is the adventure. Since I write by the seat of my pants I literally have no idea what’s coming. That’s exciting – no – exhilarating! I feel alive and full of purpose. Granted I don’t need nano to feel that way when I write, except this summer after the passing of my mom, I have had very little desire to do anything. If this can jump-start me into reshaping my life from the amorphous blob of don’t-give-a-fuck it has become – then that may be reason enough.

Also weighing on this side is the fact that if I do this, I’ll be writing in an entirely different universe. Every nano has found me writing different stories in the same universe, and now that my first completed (and revised) novel is out querying, I feel like I can dip a toe outside my comfortable world and into the unknown.

Oh geez, in writing this post the percentage has slid firmly into 60/40 in favor of participating and growing steadily. Guess that’s settled. I’m so easy.

One of the reasons October is my favorite month (besides my birthday) is all the wonderful horror movies that get dusted off and aired. Today was the first time I’d seen Eye of the Devil, and it was delicious! All moody and profane, like any good black & white horror movie should be! Enjoy!